{"id":2436,"date":"2018-07-03T14:42:35","date_gmt":"2018-07-03T12:42:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/justmeneesha.com\/?p=2436"},"modified":"2021-07-06T11:00:19","modified_gmt":"2021-07-06T09:00:19","slug":"what-the-freelance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/justmeneesha.com\/index.php\/2018\/07\/03\/what-the-freelance\/","title":{"rendered":"What the … freelance!"},"content":{"rendered":"

What the … freelance!<\/span><\/h1>\n

After almost 20 years of working in a newsroom as a sub-editor, lifestyle writer, night editor and online editor, I\u2019d done a range of exciting jobs. But it just wasn\u2019t enough. I realised I\u2019d hit the glass ceiling and atrophy was slowly creeping into my body and mind like a snake in the dark. <\/span><\/p>\n

A combination of events gave me the necessary kick in the rear to take charge of my career and make a change. I needed a new challenge. I needed to wake up in the mornings with a sense of purpose. Being an automaton was just not in my DNA!<\/span>\"JustMeneesha,Recharge<\/span><\/p>\n

But first I needed a time out \u2013 time to recharge the batteries, time to do a bit of upskilling, time to network and create a space I could work from. And this was all great \u2013 I loved learning new things, loved waking at any time I saw fit. I mean how difficult could this life as an independent contractor be, right?<\/span><\/p>\n

Being a freelancer would allow me to be my own boss. I would be free to choose my clients, free to work when, where and as I pleased. Freelance meant freedom.<\/p>\n

\"JustMeneesha,

When every billable hour counts, I quickly learnt to straighten out my priorities.<\/p><\/div>\n

The grand delusion was a structured work day, complete with time for morning yoga and self-reflection, eating healthily, endless creativity as well as loads of fabulous clients. <\/span><\/p>\n

Instead, I found myself binging on Netflix (I motored through all five seasons of <\/span>How to Get Away with Murder<\/span><\/i> and every season of <\/span>Game of Thrones<\/span><\/i> in a marathon two months! How\u2019s that for commitment and perseverance!).<\/span><\/p>\n

I justified my endless hours of social media obsession as important research for my new role. Sleeping in was okay because I\u2019d work on Sunday \u2026 after an important \u201cmeeting\u201d over lunch with a friend, who could put me in touch with a client who may be able to pay me in a month or six. <\/span><\/p>\n

All that fluff<\/span><\/h3>\n

I met the few deadlines I had \u2013 because truth be told, there were so few of them, and because I am actually pretty competent. But a typical work week consisted of only half the hours I\u2019d planned on and the rest was just \u201cfluff\u201d \u2013 things I did to convince myself I was having a productive day, that this big leap of faith I\u2019d taken was totally the right thing to do.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then there was the constant guilt I felt if my Toggl* report dropped in my mailbox and didn\u2019t reflect at least 40 hours of work in the week. I\u2019m not being productive… I\u2019m failing… Oh, the self-flagellation that ensued!<\/span><\/p>\n

Luckily, a supportive partner and sizable savings got me through the first few months. But as Day Zero on my bank account crept closer, panic set in. <\/span><\/p>\n

Had I quit my respectable, consistently-paying job for this? What the heck was I thinking? I crawled under the covers, weeping like a baby and calling on the Gods to just end my misery and take care of my family \u2026 this isn\u2019t their fault. Yes, I wore martyrdom well.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"JustMeneesha,

The euphoria and novelty of being my own boss have worn off. The grafting has truly begun. And I\u2019m learning every day that part of the \u201cfree\u201d in freelancing means I must free my mind of the shackles of expectation.<\/p><\/div>\n

Real life<\/span><\/h3>\n

This, my friends, is real life. This is playing in the big league. This is what small fish in a big pond really means. And it\u2019s a rite of passage. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m in recovery now. The euphoria and novelty of being my own boss have worn off. The grafting has truly begun. And I\u2019m learning every day that part of the \u201cfree\u201d in freelancing means I must free my mind of the shackles of expectation. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve come to accept that while Toggl recorded 35 hours of work last week, it will definitely confirm over 50 this week. It\u2019s the nature of the beast. Quality, not quantity \u2026 I keep reminding myself. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m learning that when every hour is a billable one, binge-watching an entire season of a TV series suddenly takes on a whole new meaning. <\/span><\/p>\n

Away with the smoke and mirrors. This martyr is rising. She\u2019s shed her victimhood. She eschews a sainthood. She\u2019s rewriting her script. So watch this space!<\/span><\/p>\n

*Toggl is a nifty tool that allows me to track the number of hours I spend working \u2026 or doing nothing<\/em> \ud83d\ude0f<\/span><\/p>\n